Filed under: Backstage, Bad Hair Days, Entertainment, Good Hair Days, On the set, Out of this world, TV, Video
So, I walk into the spaceship and see an attractive woman laying, apparently strapped down to an operating table. She is covered with a white sheet. Intense operating lights bear down on her as aliens gesture to parts of her anatomy. The woman screams loudly. She screams and screams and screams. I decide I’ve had enough and turn to leave when a tall thin man gestures to me.
“You’re next.”, he says.
“Oh, shit.”, I say.
This isn’t exactly what signed up for, but I’m open minded and willing to try just about anything, so I take off my clothes, slip into the outfit that has been chosen for me, and put on a pair of Adidas tennis shoes I brought with me from home for the occasion. I allow a woman to take a hot, metal, iron rod to my hair and sear curls into a style — it’s not quite what I had in mind, but she seems to know what she is doing and what she has chosen to do to me seems appropriate under the circumstances. She butters my lips with some pale pink gloss, puts thick coats of mascara on my lashes, hangs big bubbly pink and white earrings from my lobes, then declares that I’m ready.
In the few moments that elapsed while I was being prepared, the interior of the space ship changed. No longer was it a frightening space, but rather a peaceful space lit with soft white light columns, a big screen along one wall and a comfortable place for me to sit. I sit and am soon joined by an alien. He’s your typical alien, the type you see in all the typical supermarket checkout stand tabloid magazines — big almond shaped eyes, loose pale green skin covering a thin skeletal frame, and an expressionless face on a head that is mostly cranium.
“Humm,” I think to myself, “with a head that huge, he must be really intelligent.”
We communicate telepathically and learn a little about each other. I smile and nod. He nods back. (Since his face is devoid of a mouth, it is impossible for him to smile back). We watch movies about planets and have a good time together.
I’m not at liberty to describe everything that happened during my visit, but my advise to anyone contemplating being abducted by space aliens is this: don’t judge an alien by his gigantic bulging eyeballs, bald head, skeletal body, pale green skin, and lack of facial expression. He might be a really nice guy inside.
Confessions of Alien Abductions, filmed in Berkeley and Mill Valley, California is produced by IndigoFilms. The series will air in late fall on Women’s Entertainment TV (We.tv).
